People watching

So I actually tend to really enjoy people watching be it on a subway, bus, or just amongst friends. Most recently, I went to really good friends for thanksgiving. The food was beyond amazing. I woke up the next day and was still full. But it was interesting b/c I had not met all of their family. I met some of them here and there. Some of them were super sweet. One of them I found interesting. She kept pushing me out of the way both figuratively and literally be it in the middle of conversations or the kitchen. I finally went huh. I'm unimpressed. I do not need to be in the middle of everything although it can be fun. But I found it interesting that another person can do that even amongst friends and family. I also found it interesting that my family as much as I love them weren't the only insane eccentric group and that every family has its own shtick and things to tease each other better.
P.S. I sort of asked a guy out tonight. Got turned down. Yet they still chose to hang out, eat my food, and watch one of my movies.... Sigh.

If you do not have a sick mind please don't read this...

So yesterday at work I got a new stress toy from one of the agencies we work with... Its blue, very squishable, and if you hold it a certain way it flips itself inside out. I immediately nicknamed it my very phallic squeeze toy. My coworkers having similar sick senses of humor had a blast. The following were actual comments...
1. please stop hitting me with a plastic blue dick.
2. Dude Ilana if this is all you get I feel sad for you.
3. Hmmm I wonder if you actually put it on a guys *&(^$ does that save your mouth/hand while you are giving hand/B-Js?
4. Lol I can't believe how Ilana is holding it as she waves it in front of her and it jiggles.
I think I'm going to stop here before I get myself in total trouble... I'm sure you can see that it went on from there.
As part of the day yesterday I sang the Cowen Family Minhag (aka tradition) Happy thanksgiving song which I will share... Happy Thanksgiving Hooray Hooray Hooray aren't you glad you're not a turkey on this Thanksgiving day? One of my coworkers looked at me and went wow that is sick but very funny.

I know the kind of guy I want!

Two very sweet things happened at work today. Both at about 5 pm. I have two patients one male one female who's spouse is very involved. One of them the spouse is staying on a different unit but they visit each other multiple times a day. The other the spouse visits daily tonight they were singing with each other. I happened to pass by and proceeded to melt. It was so sweet. I've decided these are the kind of men I want. Alas they don't seem to exist. Sigh.

Making turkeys

So there are certain foods that every time means an automatic phone call to my mom. Although I am off today all I've done so far is cook and clean. I got a free turkey from work and I figured I would make early thanksgiving. So in the end I am making full shabbos. This is my 3rdish turkey I've ever made in my life. The first one I remember my coworkers telling me I should make stuffing to which my comment was I can't in good conscience stick my hand up a turkey's butt. I feel like I'm doing enough to it as it is.
This morning I woke up after sleeping a ridiculous amount of time last night. Spoke to my dad who said my mom was in PTA conferences. I called her asked her to call me back while I was waiting I made 5 pumpkin pies, 10ish mini pumpkin pie cupcakes, rugelach batter. Finally about 11 call my mom again and go help. Yet again we're trying to figure out which way the turkey goes. Yes I know its breast side is up but which side is that? So I thought back to my days working at a camp that was housed on a farm. Same side as the legs. Ok. Put spices on. Went uh oh need to remove a oven rack. Burned my finger. The good news the turkey is now up... The bad news is my hand went up a turkey's butt yet again.

Recent various words of the day...

Today in the course of my really bad day at work I get a phone call, "Hi is this person in charge of escorts?" I told them no and transferred the call to someone who can help and then burst out laughing. I wanted to say not that kind of escort.
Jello. The day before one of my very difficult patients was being discharged I am informed he wants to see me. I'm like dude he's going home tomorrow what does he need. Evidently the night before he was trying to provide Jello to his roommate. His roommate somehow didn't get it but the pt decided the roommate and tried to provide his jello and gave the staff a very hard time. I came out of the conversation cracking up OMG he needed to see me to discuss Jello? Really? I have nothing better to do with my time?
Suicide. I have a super difficult patient who dropped the S-word in the course of a conversation. I looked at her and asked is this really a suicide attempt or is this is a way to get attention. Oh wait she wants attention. And don't you know she was just kidding about the suicide and why don't I find it funny? I had to explain that as a social worker any conversation any discussion of the word suicide and I automatically have to react. But Ilana I'm just kidding. Right.
Crack... So my coworkers crack me up periodically. They were joking around that one of the stuffed animals in the office was on crack. 2 seconds later a cop knocks on the door he is a parole officer and wants to discuss one of the patients.
Yarn. I'm in process of making multiple things with yarn including a baby blanket. That's ultimately going to look like pizza. Two of my good friends just had a baby and they nicknamed the baby while in utero pizza. So I went to the yarn store yesterday to pick up some more yarn to complete the blanket. I got there and had to explain that I needed more soft yarn to make a pizza blanket. I got some very funny looks. Only me.

Some guy situations

So two guy situations that I wanted to share...
1. Pilot dude he is a really sweet cute guy he lives in CA and happens to be a pilot. Yes you read that correctly that means a uniform But alas a few weeks ago I went online directly after shabbos and he was there. But he's in CA that's 3 hours behind us why is he online? So I asked him he's like well I don't really always do all of shabbos. Ok this one's over. Sigh.
2. A new guy in the heights who's actually my age! Woo hoo! I had gone into the local supermarket saw a friend of mine who is engaged and convinced him that he will be shlepping my groceries home. While I was there I ran into the new dude. We're shmoozing and joking and this random girl who I had run into a couple of times in the store hadn't met her joined the conversation. I introduced myself and then introduced the guy. Then I turned into a wing-man (wing woman?) I got the last of my groceries and went home but the guy wanted to borrow some stuff from me. The next thing I know he's over hanging out for about a good hour and a half. As it turns out he ended up walking the other girl home helped her with her groceries she fed him dinner invited him for friday night dinner. How did I go from a possibility to a wing man. Only me. Sigh. I'll continue to keep you posted.