Male rant time!

So lately I've been going through a lot. I lost my grandmother, lost a bunch of friends, gained a job, (had to explain to the job that almost 2 weeks after I start I have to take off 5 days for Jewish holidays, and then a couple of months later have to take off two more.)[Being religious can be very difficult at times] (In terms of my grandmother she was a fascinating lady. Did not like to censor at all but I get several of my skills from her the fact that I knit, crochet, sew etc. She made all of her own clothes and always looked incredible!)
Now here comes the fun part regardless of all the other craziness lets add boys being difficult and annoying. Two of my college friends keep teasing me that i should become a lesbian I tease them back that they just want to watch should I become a lesbian. My frustration falls in that I'm not at the point where I am willing to become a lesbian so my guy friends can get their kicks. So I'm stick with heterogeneous relationships aka make/female. This would be fine. But the issue? I keep getting myself into lots and lots of trouble. The guy who I hadn't spoken to in a while b/c he was scared of me finally agreed to come to a shabbos meal. Yay. Then he changed his mind b/c he decided that there was another meal that he wanted to go to b/c there were people there that he didn't know as opposed to a meal where he knew them. After all he's been to my house a bunch of times. So therefore I should just let him rain check right? Yeah I was a little offended. Then there was another guy who seemed really interested. We were shmoozing, quite a bit. I actually kind of enjoyed him. Then oops he falls off the face of the planet. I invite him for a meal nope too busy, can't actually talk ever. Huh. One of these days my goal is to actually feel control in my life and not just feel like I'm being used abused etc. In the meantime I'm baking, cooking etc for the upcoming holiday Purim, still have to figure out my costume. Ah well.